Ursula Ramos - In Loving Memory

God gave her to us and God took her back-- her life was a cycle of extraordinary love. By example she taught us how to live and how to die.

Ursula was born in Ossian, Iowa in 1914. Her father moved his family of three children to California in his company moving truck: Wagner Van and Storage. Six more siblings were born there. She graduated from Moreland Notre Dame Academy and later secretarial school, then married George Ramos.

In 1956 she was widowed with five children aged 7 to 17: Marta 7, Paul 9, Barbara 12, George, 15 and Leo, 17. Though she owned property and was financially solvent she couldn't get a credit card because she was an unmarried woman with five children. Six years later her oldest child Leo died of testicular cancer. She sought guidance from God through her deep spiritual commitment to Catholicism and relied heavily on the teachings of Jesus to guide her. She was mother and father. At her core she practiced a philosophy of love, forgiveness and tenderness for others.

Adversity and education propelled her through life. Getting five children through college was a goal that she accomplished. Among the careers of her children and grandchildren are: architect, civil engineer, computer scientist, doctor, electrical engineer, lawyer, massage therapist, nurse, realtor, teacher, and techies. They earned degrees from: University of Santa Clara (3), Stanford University (3), Cornell University, University of San Francisco, University of California at Berkeley, San Jose State University, University of California at San Francisco, Cal Poly, University of San Diego, University of Arizona, University of Michigan, University of Washington and University of Colorado.

Deeply embedded in her was a love of the California landscape. As a young widow in the 1950's she led her children on wilderness trips into the Sierras. Her passion for natural beauty flowed down into all her family. She organized family campouts, picnics and gatherings for her eight siblings and their families in such beautiful places as Yosemite, Lake Tahoe, Hope Valley, Saratoga, Bolado Park and Vasona Lake.

Learning was the verb that was most constant in her life. Always seeking to broaden her comprehension of the world she followed interests in photography, computers, books, plays, lectures, hiking, gardening and museums. And the interests in turn filled her life with activities and people in abundance.

With a Blue Ribbon she retired from the County of Santa Clara as Assistant Tax Collector in 1977. She took up golf and it took up her. Her balls had her name on them so they could be identified on adjacent fairways. She was fun to be with. She once toured the Hawaiian Islands by bus and helicopters with a Japanese Sumo Wrestling team on a golf tour and wrestling exhibition. They bumped up her golf handicap so she'd win the pool.

Once her children were out on their own she began to tour the world. She visited nearly all the continents and had amazing adventures like hiking the Milford Track in New Zealand, walking on The Great Wall in China, riding a camel in Egypt, rafting down the Colorado River and touring the United States in a Volkswagen camper. When one of her grandchildren served in the Peace Corps she flew to his tiny mountain kingdom of Lesotho in Southern Africa. The Flying Doctors landed her on a mountain top and she hiked the three miles down to his thatched mud hut. Most of the villagers had never seen a white person 81 years old.

She took wide advantage of the Elderhostel program and enjoyed the experiences it offered.

She joined clubs and participated in them. Most recently her book club reviewed a book on Einstein at her home at which a member said she explained in very simple terms the Theory of Relativity. A few years ago she hosted a picnic luncheon in her garden for her Companions of the Trail. She drove to several nearby nursing homes to retrieve a few of the guests.

In her 80s she decided to become a docent at the University of Santa Clara's de Saisset Museum. It was then that she overcame her bias against modern art and came to appreciate all art in its fullest. She toured fourth graders through the California History galleries and recently was feted by the docents at a luncheon in her honor where she was given the title "Docent Emeritus."

Her love was boundless. Into her life she accepted good people however diverse. She rented bedrooms in her home to students, mostly from the University of Santa Clara. They came to love her and many stayed until they married. The house was like a heliport with friends and family landing and taking off always assured of a welcome mat be it a thermarest or a bed.

She loved sports, followed the local teams and attended hundreds of games with family and friends. Her wardrobe was full of red for both Santa Clara and Stanford.

Her grandchildren were especially dear to her and she visited all of them in their colleges. She went to their lacrosse, basketball, and softball games and track and field competitions, watched them crew, attended their music recitals and dramatic performances and was their finest cheerleader. She once spread her sleeping bag out in a grandson's frat house and watched bowl games with the brothers. They all called her Gramma Ursula and asked her to stay on..

On Saturday, January 26 she had a fall resulting in a bruised hip and a hairline fracture of the pelvis. She still motored around with a walker. On Wednesday, January 30th her dear sister Dolores, the last of her three sisters, died. She took it stoically but was very glum.

On Saturday, February 2, one of her daughters hosted a celebratory party at Ursula's home. She enjoyed the gaiety and retired as usual. Early Sunday morning, February 3, she had a massive stroke from which she did not regain consciousness. Her directive to her children was explicit: no medical intervention in the event of a major incident.

From the hospital her family brought her to her home and for five and a half days she lingered in a state where she seemed to communicate ever so slightly with a squeeze of her unparalyzed left hand. For all those days her four children, their spouses, their children, the relatives, the neighbors, the book club, the hikers, the former workmates, the docents, the Jesuits, the local priests, nuns, the classmates, hospice and a multitude of friends cried, laughed, chatted and prayed at her bedside. They brought music, played the guitar and sang to her. One niece with an angelically trained voice filled her room with Ave Maria a capella. At times the living room filled with children and toys spilled out of the toy chest into her room and we think she could hear their dear little voices.

On Friday, when those who had gone to the funeral for Dolores returned, Ursula slowly, slowly stopped breathing and her soul soared to heaven. Before the morticians took her body her family and the caregivers joined hands to her, thanked her for all she had given, prayed aloud together, reminisced and then sang: Take Me Out to the Ball Game ...loudly and with gusto to send her on her way.

With our hearts full of love and pain, we think this is what she would say:

The wonder of the world; the beauty and power
The shapes of things, their colors, lights and shades.
These I saw.
Look ye also while life lasts. 

Private inurnment will be at the Santa Clara Mission Cemetery. Her oldest child John Leo Ramos died in December, 1962. Her surviving children include: George Ramos (Eileen); Barbara Westover(Christopher); Paul Ramos(Debbie); and Marta Kinder(Christian).

She also leaves grandchildren and great grandchildren: From George: David Ramos (Leanne Camisa). Bisabuela to Garrett and Araceli; Leo Ramos; and Jeffrey Ramos (Jenny Piltz). Bisabuela to Hana and Luke. From Barbara: Matthew Westover (Debbie). Bisabuela to Madeline and Hayden. James Westover (Sara). From Paul: Mimi Westphalen (Mark Wagner). Bisabuela to Patrick. From Marta: Julie Kinder.

Her surviving siblings include: George Wagner of Pebble Beach, Eugene Wagner of Valley Ford and Jack Wagner of Hollister. On the Ramos side of the family she leaves her nephew Michael (Mary) Orradre and his five married sons and their families: John (Laura), Peter (Laurel), Jim (Michele), Martin (Lara) and Tom (Amber).

The family wishes to thank the paramedics, O'Connor Hospital, Kaiser Hospital Santa Clara, and Hospice of the Valley for their kindnesses and fine care. And thanks to the many who made her passing easier on the family. The family also wishes to thank the Jesuits at the University of Santa Clara for their support.

Should anyone wish to make a donation in remembrance of Ursula, please send a check along with a note mentioning "Ursula Ramos Memorial" to any of the following:
St. Francis Retreat, P.O. Box 970, San Juan Bautista, CA 95045
headed by her dear friend, Fr. Barry Brunsman, who celebrated her Memorial Mass;

de Saisset Museum, 500 El Camino Real, Santa Clara, CA 95953,
where Ursula was a docent and where her memorial reception was held;

Pajaro Valley Women's Shelter, 115 Brennan Street, Watsonville, CA 95076
which was founded by her sibling Sister Marie Veronica Wagner, SND.